Post by Porkchop Zamich on Sept 28, 2022 12:38:48 GMT -6
** On a cool Fall day in Possom Creek Trailer Park... A man sits on the front porch of his Double Wide drinking a cold one. He notices the camera crew and motions them over... **
"Hey! Hey Y'all! Over here... A'hm the fella you're lookin for. Yeah me! Heh heh. Welcome to mah humble abode! This here is the Possom Kingdom Baby and a'hm it's King! Porkchop Zamich! My ole lady Jolene is inside making sammiches, no matter though cuz ahm the one y'all wanna talk to! So ya heard the news, ah've been signed to an IFC contract. A'hm sure that the IFC fans are honored to have such an esteemed gentleman like mahself grace the ring! Now, A'hm not called the King of Possom Creek fer nuthin, no sir! Why ah've beat up every fella in this here trailer park and a'hm gonna do the same in the IFC baby! See, there's this fella there called J.T. Royal and he thinks he some kinda king. Sorry fella, that title been thrown around too often so a'hm gonna set the record straight. Royal, boy you're gonna be mah first target. A'hm gonna humiliate you and show all y'all why ah am the true KING!"
" Now earlier this mornin Jolene and myself were listenin to the podcasts. We came across this podcast called Uncharted Territory. Now these fellas do a great job of reportin' on rasslin' and fightin' past and present.They also do a good job of givin' weather reports but they keep missing Possom Creek! As you can see it's a nice early Fall day and the temperature is not too warm, but let me tell ya... A'HM HOTTER THAN A FOURTH OF JULY BAR BEE Q! All them fellas on that podcast are pretty good reporters except this one fella... Chad... Chad, is he from some 1980's teen movie? CHAD! Jolene tells me you are a ring announcer for a rasslin outfit up North. Well fella, that's the first problem! You're a yankee! Ah don't know what they teach you northerners in school over yonder but it obviously ain't good grammar. Normally, Ah enjoy some publicity BUT boy you got mah name wrong! It's not Porkchop Zammick.... it's Zam-Mich, like sammich or Sam Mitch! I cain't have some Yankee goin' round mispronouncin' mah Gawd givin' name! As a rasslin' announcer you should know these things! I think you may have done that personally to drag mah good name thru tha mud! So colson ... From here on out You and all other Chads out there in the universe are on notice, hell, whoever has a Chad as kinfolk is on notice too! Every one of y'all are gonna git these Big Ol' Soup Bones!
We are done here, this got me all riled up and now A'hm hungry! Now git! Jolene! Get mah sammich ready!"
** With that Porkchop gets up and goes inside and slams the door shut behind him **