Adam Smasher's IFC (Take Two)
Jun 1, 2021 18:01:48 GMT -6
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Post by adamsmasher on Jun 1, 2021 18:01:48 GMT -6
Year 1
22902.03
The Real Scoop -
By Scoop Muldoon
(From the Bionic Elbow Subetha Site)
22902.03
The Real Scoop -
By Scoop Muldoon
(From the Bionic Elbow Subetha Site)
Hello again, fight fans, Scoop Muldoon here again with The Real Scoop. Recently I was invited, along with other reporters from around the galaxy, to a press conference being held in a new arena built by none other than Tim Rocket! Former champion in multiple fighting leagues, Mr. Rocket (no relation to another Rocket family in that other sport) has apparently started his own fighting league, the Intergalactic Fight Club. Yes, I think it's a derivative name too, but we'll go with it. He's holding this press conference to make a major announcement.
The room is in his new all purpose arena, Box Office Arena (again, top notch name, Tim), and it's pretty posh. Big, ornate curtains over the windows, a gold coloured carpet, even the chairs for the press are wooden with red cushions on them. There's a stage with two long tables, each with eight chairs with microphones in front of them, and a podium in the middle. The podium has a big "IFC" logo on it. In front of that was a smaller stand with something under a dark red sheet on it.
Tim Rocket himself comes out and stands at the podium as the press racket quiets down.
TR: Gentle beings, I'd like to thank you for joining me here today for this momentous announcement. I have arranged this conference to formally announce the formation of the newest fighting league, my Intergalactic Fight Club!
This gets a round of applause from the gathered press, even me.
TR: I've spent years and most of my fortune to build this dream into a reality. And to begin this new league we will be hosting a large tournament. We are calling it the Intergalactic Super Grand Prix! And the prize will be this (he stepped forward and removed the sheet from the stand to reveal a very ornate championship belt) the IFC Gand Championship title!
Press #1: How will this tournament be held?
TR: It will be a four bloc round robin tournament with the fighter in each bloc with the best record moving on to the final championship bloc. The blocs will be color coded; Red, Blue, Orange, and Yellow with the championship bloc being called Gold.
Press #2: (Sorry, i didn't get the names of the other press members - Scoop) Who will be in this tournament?
TR: Introductions will be made now, starting with the members of the Red bloc!
Four men walk in and sit down at one of the tables beside the podium. I recognize two of them from the World Warrior League, a pretty big deal getting those guys in this new league, but I won't give them away yet. One is dressed as some kind of factory worker, one is of Earth First People decent, another a sumo fighter, and the last is a large, furry beast. They each introduce themselves.
PAD: Hello everyone, I'm Punk A.D. Yes, I have been called a time traveler.
Me: What fighting experience do you have?
PAD: I have been in a few, I guess you could call them "minor" leagues, in the past. Most of my big fights happened in the year 2783, so I suppose they technically haven't happened yet.
(This got a chuckle out of the gathered reporters)
W: My name is Warhawk. I have been competing in the World Warrior League for some time. When Mr. Rocket invited me to join his new organization I decided it was time for a change.
YO: You all know Yoko-Ohno! I too fought in the World Warrior League! Now I will crush these men and win this tournament!
SQ: RAWR! Squatch strong! Squatch fight! Squatch win!
TR: Up next we have the four fighters from the Blue Block.
Another four fighters walk out and sit on the other side of the podium. I say fighters because, shocking to the press, one was a woman! She wore grungy overalls. The other three were well known from around the fight circles.
HA: Greetings, I'm sure you all know I am Honest Abe. I am very thankful for this chance to once again prove that this ol' rail splitter still has some fight left in him.
Ro: Yeah, same for me. I'm Rocky, the Fighting Squirrel. Two time boxing champ, pretty good at punching.
Ra: Name's Ratchet! Remember it, because I am going to be running away with this whole tournament!
Press #2: So this tournament will be intergendered?
TR: Yes. Ratchet has shown to me that she definitely has what it takes to compete at this level.
V: (scoffs) No female of any species can compete with me! I am the most decorated fighter in this tournament! The whole galaxy knows who Vincitor is! Multiple time Chojin Olympic platinum medalist, multiple time KinnikuForce Combat champion, multiple time champion anywhere I've ever fought. You should just hand me that title right now and forgo this pointless pomp!
TR: Absolutely not, you will have to prove your worth just as everyone else. Now please welcome the fighters of the Orange Block!
Out onto the stage walk four more rather well known fighters. This tournament is starting to look like it might be pretty legit.
BJ: I'm Jack, Bobcat Jack. I'm the best at what I do, and what I do is kick serious ass. You're not going to have an easy time taking down the Bobcat.
PP: YAR! Hoist the colors, weigh the anchor, and let's set sail for combat! Party Pirate be me moniker of choice! These lads, and lass, best keep a weather eye, else I may plunder the booty fer meself! Yar!
EP: El Pikador! El Pika, El Pikapi! El Pikapika! El PikaDOR!
TB: Haha! Well now, I and I be Tiki Boom! And ja get bet mon, dat championship it gon be all mine!
SM: This is quite an impressive and, uh, eclectic group of fighters for your opening tournament.
TR: We still have one bloc to go. This is the Yellow Bloc!
Only three men come out at first for the Yellow bloc. Two more former World Warriors and heated rival of Vincitor in the Chojin Olympics and one very handsome dude!
KP: I am Ken Po. I am a multi time winner of the World Warrior title, but now my quest to be the greatest fighter will continue here in the Intergalactic Supre Grand Prix.
KK: Bah, your fighting is like your talking, no finesse! I, Krusher Khan, will of course be winning the tournament and taking that championship!
DS: Oh hey, my name's Death Star, and I am just so stoked to be here with my bestest bud Vincitor!(Vincitor rolls his eyes) I don't know how the dice will roll in this tournament, but hopefully the guy writing this will actually commit this time and doesn't reboot us after only 8 shows.
Press #3: What are you talking about?
Oh nothing, that was just a little joke for the message board!
Suddenly a bright light shines from behind Tim Rocket, who shields his eyes and steps away from the podium. The light dims and standing at the podium is The Messenger!
Now I know I don't usually like giving things away or mentioning that other combat company, but over the last few years this guy has become a huge star in that genre, and now he's showing up at this press conference!
TM: Gathered people, I have come here to the Intergalactic Fight Club to deliver a message.
Press #5: What message?
TM: There is a terrible threat lurking in the shadows of this tournament. I do not yet know why, but it will be my duty to find it and…
Before he could finish an enormous rabbit man attacked The Messenger from behind! The rest of the fighters stand and back away. All except Squatch who lunges at the intruder only to be picked up and driven into one of the most horrific backbreakers I have ever seen! Suddenly another man, this one thin, dressed in a long coat and top hat covered in bones and strange symbols appears and shoves El Pikador into the waiting grip of this beast and promptly is given the same devastating backbreaker! None of the other fighters make a move as the thin man walks up to the podium.
??: Mr. Rocket, your little venture is going to be over before you even know it! Tick Tock, your time is UP! Hahahahahahaa!
With that cackle he and the giant rabbit are teleported out of the room. The press are asking questions rapidly and the other fighters are starting to get agitated and bowing up to each other. Medical staff are tending to El Pikador and Squatch as The Messenger is speaking with Tim Rocket. And that's when it happened. I happened to be looking at just the right time to catch it. Tim Rocket grabbed The Messenger's shoulder with one arm and his own chest with the other, a pained look on his face. The Messenger called out for the medics, who were already busy, but one did manage to get over to Mr. Rocket as he lay on the floor. After that security rushed us all out of the conference room.
If this is how a new fighting league starts, I don't know if it's headed in the best direction.